The Epicness of the Epic Jar (Explained)

When I woke up this morning my sister told me to look at my blog. I seriously had no idea what she was talking about... I didn't remember what the post said or why I had written it but when I read it.. well.. it was like this. I remember writing something that I thought was so amazing but I didn't think I posted it. But as it turns out I did.... and it wasn't a amazing by far. So now I am going to try to explain what I meant...  or what I think I meant...


Warning: This Post Contains extreme Epicness, Overexposure to the Epicness may cause the following:
Exploding Laptops (IPhone or any other item you might be reading this on)
Spontaneous Combustion (I don't see how I spelled that correctly, I didn't even know I could spell it...)
Feeling Like a Ninja (I probably said this cause I was feeling like a ninja for some reason..)
Feeling like you can fly (Not my fault if you jump off a building.)
Blindness
Baldness (your hair will leave because it's so epic)
Swelling of the epic gland (Not everyone has one) (Seriously?)
And of course, the sudden urge to read more of my posts! (That's it, end on a very self absorbed note.)

Right now I'm in the state of between half asleep and half bored awake (Bored awake? Your not even awake! How did you even turn your computer on??) ... So I decided to type a post. (Aren't I smart.) (Oh yeah so smart...) I am sitting in the living room with my cat desperately trying to lick my laptop. I don't know why, he just is. (You gave him catnip. He was loopy as that David goes to Dentist kid.)

So let's talk a little about the Epic Jar. Of course everyone knows about it... and if you don't let me spare you the time of googling it. (No one has to google what it is... You can GUESS what it is and get it right..)  Every time you say epic, you must put a dollar in the Epic Jar. Even if you don't have a dollar. At the end of the day after everyone has gone to bed the Epic Jar takes what is owed out of your wallets. If you do not have anything in your wallet it goes for your bank account. None in there either? It'll take anything in your house that cost as much as you debt.. (So the Epic Jar is alive? And it steals from you... That is so messed up..)  So don't freak if you loose your favorite earrings or cuff links (Not sure if anyone even uses cuff links anymore.) (No one does.) Just remember, The Epic Jar is watching. Waiting. (And by the time I finish this post he'll be rich too.) (Yeah, you've only said epic a billion times...)
Until now there hasn't been a way to stop this epicness... (Since when is being robbed epic?)  We've never known what it looks like... until now. (I think I just wanted to draw a picture.. it's pretty awesome for someone that's asleep...)

*Epic Horror music plays* (What is Epic horror music? BTW, this is the best picture I've ever drawn on a computer)
Now that was know what this monster looks like we can stop him! (maybe... probably not...) (Yeah. Most likely not....)
He knows habit you have. NOTICE: I said habit not hobbit. (Alright, this makes no sense at all.... I was thinking of hobbits and how tiny they were and I guess I thought I should make it clear that I didn't say hobbit... I have no clue what I was trying to say at the beginning...)
Most of you deserve having your money taken by the Epic Jar. (No you don't) But since I'm taking the time (And money) to write this. I want this monster found because I will be broke once he reads this post. (Since when can a jar read?)
I must hide my wallet now, have a nice hunting trip! (Like all of you are going to go find a jar and kill it because I don't want to be robbed. I just said it's ok for you to get robbed but not me... Jeez I'm vain when I'm asleep...)

Anyway I really hope this cleared things up a bit... if not... I tried. But I seriously need to hide my laptop so I don't post while I'm asleep anymore.